i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
