he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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