make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
