i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
