After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize