We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
