Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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