the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i out mim tonsoeep
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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