go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
