Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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