Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
