please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
