At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
