drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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