So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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