I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
this hospital has no fireball
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
