went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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