is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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