so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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