So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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