i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
