we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
