I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
