also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
