if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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