you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize