just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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