It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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