Where are you?
In a non slutty way
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
