shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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