As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
