Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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