Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I skipped work to stalk him.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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