U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
