I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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