would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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