I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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