Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
