Sober January is a disaster.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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