I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize