Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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