I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
