I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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