ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
