My room smells like vodka and shame
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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