I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My life is pants optional.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
