wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
