You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize