Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
