Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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