I forgot how hot balto sounded
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
