I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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