only you would photoshop your dick
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
