It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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