dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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