doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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