It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize