She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
MIDGETS
????
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
