We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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