It's Friday. Sex?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
