Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
