She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
