lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
